Not getting any? You’re not alone: Women today have less time for sex than their 1950s counterparts. And it’s estimated that 40 million Americans have what experts call a sexless marriage (having sex less than 10 times a year).
A regular sex life is good for your health. It can satisfy all sorts of emotional- and physical-intimacy needs and help partners stay close, says Anita H. Clayton, MD, a professor of psychiatry at the University of Virginia and author of Satisfaction: Women, Sex, and the Quest for Intimacy. So why the dry spell? You can chalk it up to a sheer lack of time, but there are a slew of other reasons, too—from weight gain and perimenopause to technology overload (stop texting now) in the bedroom. Here’s how to beat the top 10 sex busters.
Reason 1: Your bed isn’t sexy anymore.
We hear it over and over again: The bed should be used for sex and sleep only. So why do so many of us insist on bringing third parties—laptops, PDAs, Law & Order—into the boudoir? All that technology and distraction can cause insomnia and put a damper on your sex life. After all, it’s harder to initiate sex if your spouse is hiding behind a newspaper or glued to the TV or if your hands are busy exploring the Web rather than his body.
Sex Rx: At a minimum, make the bedroom a no-technology zone, Clayton suggests. Then take a hard look at your life (from romance and work to entertainment and family), and give sex the priority it deserves. If you have to schedule sex like you do a meeting, do it!
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