From Health magazine
It doesn’t get more grounded than Brooke Shields. Five minutes into our interview, she’s telling a story like a good friend you saw just yesterday. How is it possible that Brooke, 44, can be so down-to-earth when she’s so darn famous?
She’s been in the public eye for three decades, as a model, movie star, TV actress, Broadway performer, and children’s-book author (her latest is It’s the Best Day Ever, Dad!). And after chronicling her postpartum depression in Down Came the Rain, Brooke landed at the heart of an important women’s-health issue.
Now eight years into her marriage with writer and producer Chris Henchy, the couple is raising two daughters, Rowan, 6, and Grier, 3. Read on to find out how she balances her crazy-busy life, and what else happened the day the world’s most famous movie star popped by to apologize.
Q: You devote a lot of time to charities, especially Tupperware’s Chain of Confidence campaign. Why are you so passionate about that and the SMART Girls program that Tupperware sponsors?
A: What Tupperware has stood for all these years is the independence of women, allowing women to work from home, earn a living—and that’s what this Boys & Girls Clubs of America program, the SMART Girls program, is about. You just get these young women who don’t necessarily have a healthy family life, or they’re being raised by their grandmother, and this is a place they can go to and they can get power. That’s what you want for these little people when they go out as young women.
Q: Is it true you had a sun scare?
A: Yeah, this [Brooke touches a patch on her upper left lip] keeps coming back. I’ve had it for a while, but a year ago my doctor froze it off and it turned out it was precancerous. I was panicked. I thought, Of course! Everything’s started to be in place, and now I have to get that? When everything is going well, my Catholic guilt rears its ugly head and says, “No, you’re not allowed to be that happy. We’re gonna give you cancer now!”
Q: Is that why you’re now working with Coppertone’s NutraShield campaign?
A: I was from the generation of sitting out with oil and tin foil over your schoolbook [to reflect more sun]. It wasn’t until I had kids that I started being more concerned. We need to protect our skin and our kids’ skin, and we need to do it now. I put it on before [my makeup]. It’s easier to use sunblock as a moisturizer and then call it a day. I incorporate it into my morning, and keep it in the daily tooth-care area so that it seems like a daily routine.
Q: You’ve been married eight years. What’s the best marriage advice you’ve ever heard?
A: Someone wrote on a card at my shower, “Don’t ever go to bed angry.” It’s one of the oldest ones in the book, but it’s so interesting what happens when you do. It’s toxic. Your dreams are affected, and then in the morning, you’ve already been damaged. We’ll resolve at least to disagree. And then, I just find I sleep so much better.
Q: What’s most rewarding—and challenging—about raising two girls?
A: Their vulnerability is the best and worst thing. The baby will hold my face and say, “I just love you so much, Mommy.” And it’s like, Oh, ohhh, I don’t know if I can live up to this! And, yet, it’s the best. They’ll make you crazy, but they’ll also make you so happy that you’re crazy.
Next: How do you reenergize?
Comments (107)
Brook why would you make such a statement? You wish you lost your virginity earlier…. With all the issues with teens today…. STDs HIV unwanted preg. etc etc etc. Do all of us a favor. It is best to be thought a fool than to open your mouth a remove all doubt.
lol
I was 26 and was a virgin on my wedding day. I dated quite a bit and was never pressured for sex…it was a different time. I feel sorry for young girls today. Sex is expected after a few dates. How sad. Sex is such a personal thing and just giving in to eacy guy just takes away the “special” part of sex.
Why would anyone wish that? What are you saying to your daughters with that statement? I really thought you had it together – clearly I was wrong. I feel sorry that your girls have those thoughts to model their life from.
It is unfair to chastise her for making that reflective and conversational comment. That was not the bulk of the interview. She is not promoting teen sex. She seemed to be having an honest one-on-one conversation with the interviewer, and that thought just came out. I feel like some of the comments are taking away from the point of the article, which is intended to focus on her mission to empower girls – to like themselves as they are, which is something she didn’t always do as a young woman.
I quote the header: “Brooke Shields Gives Back: Her Mission to Empower Girls And More”
It wasn’t “How to make friends and influence people”.
She knew what the question was and she answered it “honestly”, as you put it. Not that she cares what we are saying on the back side of it all, but didn’t she open herself with that knowledge.
Get back to the garden, Rose. And leave the thinking to us. Thank you.
Brooke;
What an irresponsible thing to say. Did you think America expects you to think like this because you’re an actress?
I thought you had more brains than that.
As the founder of the National Organization of Conservative Women and a mother to a young daughter myself, I am disappointed in Ms. Shield’s comment regarding regretfully waiting to have sex. For girls and young women who look up to Ms. Shields in the public spotlight, this is very damaging. Girls are craving wholeness that does not come from sex. As women with the power to influence, we ought to use our voice to illustrate value to our girls based on the fact they are wonderfully made with bright futures that sex outside of marriage complicates.
AMEN!
TO EVERYONE CHASTISING MS. SHIELDS:
Please get a grip and learn to recognize context. Ms.Shields was obviously making a point about being comfortable in one’s own body. She is also quite clearly referring to the idea of losing her virginity before it became a subject of tabloid fodder thus making it more dificult for her to operate in the world as a normal young woman dating.
What does it say in the Bible about judgment?
Dana:
If you or Ms.Shields can’t take the heat, get out da’ kitchen! Tabloids!…Tabloids! Is this what this is all about? [Boo hoo!] No, it’s about pushing an agenda against the realization that this once great nation continue to bask itself in it’s glow of “no rules for me” mentality. Judge for yourself. You don’t need the Bible to know certain things are not right, Dana.
Hi Dana, you obviously don’t understand the Bible nor what “judging” is. One is certainly allowed to express their opinion on the matter without judging the individual. Thank you for inadequately trying to belittle those who believe in Biblical morality.
Dana,
very dangerous comment about what the Bible says.
God had a specific plan for sex, one man one woman for life, read it for yourself and look at the world we live in , you think what we have is part of God’s plan? Brooke Shields has no business being a role model for anyonr with a comment like that.
What a stupid thing to say, especially the mother of two young girls!
So no problems with posing for provocative nude pics at 10 then? Just the problem with not losing your virginity earlier? Good grief….
Of course there is a problem with that as well. This article isn’t glorifying every bad thing the chick has done. Good grief.
There is something very unsavory about this woman. I felt it even before the Volkswagen (pregnancy) ads, and those really confirmed her shallow character. Now these virginity comments are further confirmation that she needs to get off the public stage!
You’re right Phil. I think the creepiest part of those commercials was the “don’t have a baby for german engineering.” I won’t be driving the Mengelemobile regardless of the fine aryan specimen promoting it.
What a shame that so many of the commenters here think this is an issue of teen sex. What Ms. Shields is describing is body image and her feelings about it. If we, as a country, had more open and honest discussions with our children about both sex and body image, then I think we’d all be much better off. Empower children with knowledge on what this interview means; not your right-wing talking points.
To me, I thought the comment by Marc was sad. I felt it was so benign and so politically correct.
I wish Marc would explain his comment; “Empower children with knowledge on what this interview means;” to me. I don’t understand how someone commenting on wishing they had lost their virginity before the age of 22 could make them think they would have a better body image of themselves. I certainly don’t think sex outside of marriage improves anything. Sex is a game for some people and you are just collecting emotional baggage to haul into your next relationship and you do get labeled as cheap or easy. You get used for the sex and may not have a lasting commitment. Some people do have regrets for not waiting until marriage.
Keep walking your line, Marc…wherever that may lead you. Good luck and by the way, I won’t be sharing any of your “knowledge”, you left-wing extremist. Now go have lunch with Obama and leave the RIGHT alone. You’re just so jealous, sillyman!
Mike, I like how you think!!! I did not like Brooke’s comment at all! Girls should totally wait until they are married to do anything!!!
AMEN and GOODNIGHT!!!
Hey, you know what we COULD do? We could throw free condemns at the children and expect that to be helpful!
First of all, let me say that I am NOT a conservative. I am extremely LIBERAL. And, I do not believe that you need to wait until marriage to have sex. HOWEVER, I believe that it is irresponsible of Brooke Shields to speak as if having sex would enhance her self esteem. So many teenage girls have sex before they are ready because of LOW SELF ESTEEM.
There is nothing wrong with having a healthy, responsible sex life as a young adult. The half life of virginity is 16.5. She is in the 10th percentile by having been a virgin until age 22. I think we should be encouraging young women to enjoy sex in a healthy, responsible manner. I see nothing wrong with her thoughtful comment.
curious where you found this information. not disputing it but wondering how you know. links?
Just look up “Pretty Baby” and “The Blue Lagoon”. Those movies were cornerstones of pushing the limitations on child pornography as “art” back in the 80s.
Yes, please have sex “responsibly” with any guy who wants it. You don’t need to worry about waiting for marriage or even falling in love first.
Where did she say she wished she had “premarital” sex before 22? Perhaps she wished she was married earlier too. With the other so-called role models girls have these days, is this the best target you could find?? Seriously.
Oh for Pete’s sake, I really thought Brooke had it more together than THIS. What is she thinking, saying some thing that after how many years. She should be proud of the fact she was a virgin until what age was she? Good grief…..
For any single virgins out there, keep your virginity for someone special you LOVE on your wedding.
We may share a name,postpartum depression symptoms and the fact that we lost our virginity around the age of 22, but I don’t agree with the way she presented her “regret”. I think she regrets the body image problem more than the not losing her virginity sooner. I see the body image thing as a blessing considering if she had had a better body image she probably would have lost her virginity to George Michael and THAT would’ve been a much bigger regret!!! Imagine the depression that would have followed…
She must be pulling our leg…. Brook Shields hasn’t been a virgin since about age 12!!!! Back in the day, she was supposedly one of Hollywood’s most promiscuous actresses.
At age 15, she was reputed to be regularly entertaining Bob Hope’s “urges”, so I rather doubt her claim of purity & wholesomeness.
Hi Julie,
I agree with all you wrote and commend your conservative values. I believe our society is better served by such things attributed to the right. Ms. Shields’ comments were casual and regrettable in such a public forum.
She is no role model, that is for sure!! She has a history of saying stupid stuff to the media and in interviews. I feel sorry for her kids & family and this is about what I expect from her anyway. Its just a shame that comments like hers get put in front of our youth by the media. The media is even more shameful than people like her. It is our responsibility as parents to steer our children in the right direction and away from idiots like this and the media.
She could have said it better. In other words, express her feelings about how a negative body image bothered her as a teenager and young woman. I had issues with this, too. But to connect it to maintaining her virginity was a mistake on her part. Please, when teenage girls lose their virginity, it impacts their emotions, too – and usually NOT in a productive way. Losing your virginity does not usually add to a young woman’s self-esteem. Don’t think this is true? Poll your girlfriends.
Thank you. It’s sad that a young woman’s self worth is determined by her virginity, isn’t it?
Brooke Shields was photographed at 10 years of age in complete frontal nudity with the make-up of a woman and her body oiled. These pix were very close to child pornography. She went on to do nude sex scenes in Pretty Baby at the age of 12 and Blue Lagoon shortly after. Her Calvin Klein commercials were very sexual as well so I have a hard time believing that she was uncomfortable with her body…everything she did was about her nude body! Why is she saying such stupid things?
SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES. This is what a majority of teenage girls have when they become sexually active. 1 in 4 teen girls. I AM ONE OF THE 1 IN 4. I was not sleeping around casually and we used condoms. Now I have HPV for the rest of my life – a cancer causing one (there are over 100 strains of HPV, some more dangerous than others). I’m 23 now and wish I could do it all over again, because he wasn’t worth a life time virus. What a stupid comment Brooke made. I’d rather have poor body image than a disease or a pregnancy.
do you know how it feels to hate your body? to feel like you aren’t worth dating? do you know how much this little interview made me feel better about myself, to know that successful gorgeous women have the same problem? this isn’t about promoting sex, it’s about body image issues.
How rude are you? And rude isn’t the right word for it. This girl just opened up and talked about her heartbreak of getting a life time virus after having sex “responsibly” and all you can do is compare it to poor Brooke’s feelings about hating her body and self worth? Dispicable.
i’m sorry you think i’m despicable and I’m truly sorry for the young lady with and STD. really, I am, I’m not a monster.. All i’m saying is that body image issues can be a serious detriment in living your life. I know because I had an eating disorder for 2 years that almost killed me. Living with an STD would be horrific but don’t diminish the tragedy of girls who live in the cage of depression and self hatred either. and don’t call me despicable, thank you.
I think the whole ’saving oneself’ concept promotes ignorance. Ignorance makes people more easily controlled.
Have sex when you want to, with whom you want to. Just make sure you know the risks, and take as many steps to guard yourself against them.
If you wanted to have sex when you were 16, and were pressured into waiting until much later, say age 22, you have lost 6 years of your sexual youth. A woman is in her sexual prime from her mid teen’s until her late 20’s. It is a damn shame when one misses out on that many years.
Tom, you sound like me when I was a freshman in college…
“Saving one’s self” and ignorance are not related. This apparent connection only reveals your own lack of understanding. I chose to save myself, but I had specific reasons why. I also understood that my role of serving my Lord trumps my own desires. Granted I might have lost years of “sexual youth”, but I stand proudly and say I did as God asked of me. For that I make no appologies.
While I share your bravado, I respectfully differ on two points:
1-I don’t really consider waiting ignorant. I simply think female virginity is overrated. I look at virginity as a choice, rather than a “gift”–it is the same choice as having sex, but in reverse. (I.E.the choice to not have sex.) Considering all the time it takes for a woman to figure out her own body, let alone instructing another person what that body likes, I’d say starting earlier is key to a woman’s ability to attain the same sexual gratification as a man in any sexual relationship she chooses to pursue. Yes, the Big O can be elusive starting out.
2-I read a woman’s sexuality actually peaks in her early to mid thirties!!! Which–Yay–belies the concept that a woman in her teens/early twenties is worth more sexually than an early-middle aged woman because there is less evidence of gravity on her body. I’m 28 and it gets better with age. I’ve got the best to look forward to, and what I’ve had has been d*mn terriffic.
Ladies with body issues: forget it. My weight’s fluctuated over my life ’cause I’ll live life, then diet just so I can live life again. (Gotta have a piece of pizza of four with football!!) My sex life has remained consistent regardless of my weight. I’ve been burned, I’ll be honest. But I’ve burned guys, too, and it all comes down to the experience. I’ve had way more satisfying relationships, sexual or otherwise, than not in the end. It comes down to the chemistry rather than the weight…and if you’re stuck on your weight you’ll never be free to boundlessly explore your awesome sexuality. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin and the sex skyrockets from there–whether you’re a one man type or want to play the field. It applies to both scenarios. Also, if your S.O. is fixated on your weight then I’d show him/her the door. Thought I’d put my 2 cents’ worth in on that since I’ve read a couple ladies’ comments on body issues. Forget it. Life’s too short.
How is there anything wrong with what she said? I am grateful for her remarks- it really helps to know I’m not the only one out there with this problem. I’m 22 and haven’t had sex yet, haven’t really dated much, mainly because of my self esteem/ body issues. Honestly. And i know i’m not a bad looking girl. For someone as gorgeous as Brooke Shields to say the same thing, it really makes me feel better about myself. Thanks Brooke!
How do you figure it’s a “problem” not having sex at 22? To a lot of people it’s a choice.
Wait… You mean her body issues didn’t come from the fact that she posed nude in films even before she hit puberty and that having sex at an earlier age would have made her feel better about her body issues?
The article is disingenuous for failing to mention the fact that she had been filmed in full frontal nudity at 12 and was considered a sex symbol at 15.
What do you expect from a liberal anyway?
Sad, that a health magazine would allow this kind of statement. Like carrying 20 extra pounds is as big a health issue for teens as have sex too early.
Brooke was better off waiting to have sex; no matter what the reason is. To me, the message that should empower young girls SHOULD be “You can wait to have sex, there is nothing wrong with that. You can and will be fine if you wait, don’t let someone tell you different”.
While I agree that society gives young girls a standard, body-wise, that is often impossible to live up to and that is unhealthly to try to obtain. The way to combat it is not to tell them ‘their body is fine the way it is, go ahead and have sex’. It might be to tell them ’sex is not the be all end all’.
TO EVERYONE CHASTISING MS. SHIELDS:
Please get a grip and learn to recognize context. Ms.Shields was obviously making a point about being comfortable in one’s own body. She is also quite clearly referring to the idea of losing her virginity before it became a subject of tabloid fodder thus making it more dificult for her to operate in the world as a normal young woman dating.
What does it say in the Bible about judgment?
Juding actions and judging a person are two different things. The Bible certainly calls Ms. Shield’s actions wrong. So can I. The Bible says that I cannot condemn her for her actions. THAT is up to God. Please learn the difference between calling a behavior wrong and the person wrong. It’s the whole “love the sinner, hate the sin” point.
Way top go Brooke! Give the young girls out there more reasons to have sex early. That increases the odds for all men to get a nice young girls virginity. Young girls just need to get it over with and have sex so that they can lead normal lives in the wonderful world that we live in today that promotes sex in every aspect of life. If everyone would just have sex all of the time the world would be full of love!
This IS supposed to be sarcastic by the way!!!!!!
Although your comment is supposed to be sarcastic, many of the things you said were true. Young women should have control over their bodies and decide if and when they should engage in sexual activities. It shouldn’t be society’s decision nor anyone else’s, and a woman should not be chastised for it.
Brooke was talking about her self-esteem and the way she perceived her body. By thinking less of her body, she felt unattractive and undesirable. Almost every woman feels that way.
Yes, it’s true that we are focusing on one small part of a bigger interview, but the article was promoted that way for a reason. To me, the fact that she wanted to “get it over with” in regard to losing her virginity is the saddest part. Why in the world would one consider this milestone an event equivalent to getting one’s teeth cleaned?
As a couple who waited until marriage, our wedding night was one that we anticipated with joy, and ideally, that’s the way it was intended to be. It is only when the gift of sex is used outside of marriage that complications arise, and the only way to be 100% sure of avoiding unwanted pregnancy and disease is abstinence. It’s a shame that a “health” magazine didn’t focus on that fact instead of whitewashing the conversation with the whole body image hoopla.
Sex is not a gift. It is a decision that a person makes. And abstinence is not a 100% way of avoiding unwanted pregnancies and diseases. Being well-informed and practicing safe sex is.
“abstinence is not a 100% way of avoiding unwanted pregnancies and diseases”
You’re kidding, right? How else are you going to catch an STD or get pregnant without some kind of sexual contact? Avoid the contact, avoid the consequence, it’s that simple. Looks to me like someone needs to go back to Health 101.
And yes, sex is by all means a gift. It’s a shame that so few people treat it that way anymore.
Oh,and you’re fooling yourself if you really believe there is such a thing as “safe” sex. That whole concept is just a myth used to promote the anything goes mentality of our society.
If you don’t believe me, do some research on the campaign against AIDs in Africa. The only places that are seeing true reduction in the spread of the disease are those were abstinence and fidelity are being taught, not the ones where condoms are being handed out like candy.
I’m not saying everyone should have sex, but in the same manner, you shouldn’t say that they shouldn’t. It’s up to an individual to decide when they are ready for sex, and they should not be condemned for it. Just because abstinence worked for you, doesn’t mean it works for everyone. Sex is healthy and natural.
Why does anyone get so involved with what she says, does, or thinks? This is an actress folks, not a Supreme Court Justice…
our children look to the media and those in it. not the supreme court. left wing right wing doesnt matter. the facts are there. we have a serious problem in our country. stds, teen pregnancy etc. like it or not this magazine and ms. shields do have a responsibility to our children. but all to often hide behind freedom of speech. and as far as context-children wont read between the lines. all they will hear is.. have sex…teenager..self-esteem building. I do so hope these words make it to the publisher and ms. shields..even if they DONT care.
I am shocked to read all of the Puritan comments. I agree that Brooke could have re-phrased her words better, but she was referring to her self-esteem and how she perceived her body.
As for sex, it’s a shame that a young woman’s self-worth is determined by her virginity. She should have control of her body, and it should be her decision if and when she has sex and no one else’s. And if a woman does choose to have sex, she should not be made to feel guilty. Sex is part of life, and is a very pleasurable experience.
We need to educate our girls regarding sex and let THEM determine when they are ready. Their body is not a man’s playground. It’s theirs.
This woman will say or do anything for attention! She’s not a star, she’s not an actress, she never had any talent and never will. As for looks, well if you like women who look like men in drag, she’s your thing. Get out of the limelight you don’t deserve and see a mental health professional, please.
To all of you who are knocking Brooke for wishing she had sex earlier in life, what business is it of yours? Not everyone shares your views on sex. The comment was about how her body image kept her from feeling good about herself. Lots of women feel this way. Negative body image can contribute to many issues and may even keep women from doing many things (i.e. going on a beach vacation) other than sex. All of you folks who feel the world should conform to your “no pre-marital sex” views need to worry about your own daughters and do the research on purity balls, abstinence, and promise rings. Oh, and worry about your kids who run out and get married at 18 just to have sex and then end up in divorce.
I lost my virginity at 18 and was happy to push it out the door. Why is sex made into something so dirty, people? Women are more free to enjoy sex than ever nowadays. Enjoy it. Be cautious–use protection. Enjoy your bodies. I find it amusing that a woman’s virginity is such a big deal compared to a man’s. I’m not sorry I lost mine and I would never take it back even if I were offered the chance. Get down make love, people!!
I’m 19 and still a virgin and damn proud of it. I am proud of my body but I’m not going to just let any man touch it. To make it sound like virginity is a curse is a disgrace, and makes it look ” uncool” to be a virgin at an older age by a celebrity.
I am giving my virginity to my future husband on my wedding night, because he deserves it. I’m not going to give it to just anybody or push it out the door just to be rid of it. It is the one gift you can never buy or take back once its given, so why give it away so freely?
I think it’s fantastic that you want to save yourself until you are married. I agree that virginity is not a curse, but at the same time, choosing to have pre-marital sex is not a crime either. Sex is not dirty. As for giving virginity away freely, it’s a matter of personal choice to wait or not.
No offence, but I don’t believe a husband “deserves” a wive’s virginity – to me it would be more like an honour to receive it. Just like it’s an honour to receive your husband’s.
I was more interested in seeing Christoper Atkins nude in Blue Lagoon than Brooke. Yum.
OMG, what a stupid thing to say and let your children use as an excuse in a few years. Can you say “Bad Parenting”. And I thought it was just Britney that had this problem.
how sad to make a statement like that – and to know that her statement will influence many, many girls lives!
Yes, I read the entire statement.
Is she thinking of the impact that her words will have on the lives of her own daughters?
Been there, done that, definately want more for my girls! I have always wished that I could have given my virginity to my husband as a beautiful wedding gift. Once squandered, it can never be gotten back.
I wish I could give away the regret as easily as I gave away my first time.
Sad, thoughtless words…
This is hidious!!! She just told young girls to have sex whenever they want?? IS that what she wants for her daughters?? Shut up if you dont have anything intelligent to say!!!!!
Mary, are you reading something that none of us can see because I don’t believe that she told young girld to have sex whenever they want. In fact, how many young girls are looking up to Brooke Shields these days and how many even know who she is?
Even in an intimate interview (an oxymoron to be sure) why would you say such a perosnal thought? I am disappointed. Some things are just better left undsaid.
While I agree that was a personal confession, I believe her point was regarding her self-esteem and the way she felt about her body.
What I don’t get is…women obsessed with “saving” themselves for their husbands on their wedding night. The wedding night thing is truly overrated. Puh-leaze! Chances are the guy isn’t thinking about “saving himself.” At least, not many as compared to women. Virginity is not a gift, it’s a choice. I respect your choice as it’s your body. Just my opinion.
I believe giving virginity away is a choice yes, that’s how I was raised. If I become a parent someday, I won’t hide the truth from my children. If they have questions, I will answer them.
When I had the sex talk with my mom she presented both options to me, not encouraging one option or telling me I had to go abstinent or else.
A problem with encouraging safe sex or abstinence is that parents sometimes go ” Be this or else” , ” No you can’t have sex” and all that young adult hears is ” no no no”. My mother believed in being completely honest and letting myself and my sisters make our own choices.
Why do I believe virginity is a gift? Because your first time is special, and it shouldn’ t happen with just anyone. call it a dream, but I want to give my virginity to someone who will be honored by it, not consider it a notch on his bedpost, or “bagging a virgin” to his buddies.
So to other virgins who made the choice, I applaud you. Non-virgins, I respect you and hope you practice sex safely.
That was the most intelligent comment I’ve read here! Well said! *applause*
Oh–P.S. I got more than a few notches in my bedpost that I’ve bragged to girlfriends about over coffee. It can and does go both ways…
The first time is special, but if you’re with someone you love, so is the 1000th time.
The only “gift” that matters is the gift of sharing the rest of your life with the person you love.
Personally, I would prefer a woman with some experience. Someone who has already dated and had sex, and actually knows from experience what she wants in life.
And yes, that might sound a bit unromantic. But the truth is that every relationship has its ups and downs, and someone who knows that the butterflies won’t always be there is more likely to accept the good as well as the bad.
In my humble opinion, it is far better to experiment with sex and get married later on, than to save yourself until married, find out things aren’t working out, and then getting a divorce.
Sex is something you can afford to experiment with as long as you do it sensibly (i.e. safer sex in a monogamous relationships with the person you love). Marriage, on the other hand, is something that should not be taken lightly.
Raised three daughters. They were taught religion and were aware of peer pressure conflict which only contradicts religious teaching. We ignored the hypocrisy and told them that sex is adult behavior! When you are able to be adults across the board–emotionally, socially, financially–make your own decisions. Save adult behavior until you are an adult!
And if you noticed, Brooke was 22. Over the age of consent by a long mile.
(sigh) Once an air-head always an air head.
in the end- who cares? she did it when she did it.. girls who do stuff just because celebrities do it need a little bit more parenting.
for her, it was an issue of self esteem and body image, for others it is religious or just being educated about the risks.
in my humble opinion there isn’t really anything wrong with what she said since i too am a 22 yr old virgin with body image issues. but- everyone should make up their own minds.
Regrets are one of the few things in life that we own. What Joe Blow thinks about Brooke Shields regrets really is Joe Blow’s problem.
Remember the scene in Blue Lagoon where young Christopher Atkins discovered masturbation? Yum.
Some of you seem to be implying that men should be the ones with experience on the wedding night but not women. Women who preach about remaining virgins until the honeymoon as a “gift” to their grooms are really sending an archaic message that women should be submissive to their husbands in all matters. These women hurt the cause and credibility of all modern women and should never utter words about equality in the workplace or anywhere else without seriously considering themselves hypocrites.
Hmmm…. maybe that’s what someone else preached to you. Abstaining till marriage is an INDEPENDENT choice. There is nothing saying a woman can save herself for marriage and turn into a submissive woman who serves only her husband after the marriage.
You can go screw yourself if you’ll think I’ll be a submissive wife just because I’m a virgin waiting till marriage. My boyfriend’s a virgin too and it is because we love each other so much that we try to abstain. Is it hard? Yes. But its worth it. I feel like waiting will only make it that much better when we finally walk down the aisle. To have waited till the right time. Not sneaking behind his parents back or trying to find time alone. Sex is not a requirement for a healthy relationship. I feel like he loves me for me, not for my body, or for sex. Try to abstain and see how long your relationship can hold out without it.
Just curious…and I respect your decision but what if your wedding night is atrocious and you and your husband are not sexually compatible? Not saying you should have sex, just curious. Would you stay in a marriage like that or is sex just not that important when you have love?
Wouldn’t that be a bummer if the plane crashed on the way to the honneymoon??
I am a 41 year old woman and I was a virgin on my wedding night and I’ve thought ever since (almost 20 years ago) what a horrendously stupid mistake that was…No more double standards for me, my children, nieces and nephews and anyone else I can preach it too..anywhere as far as life is concerned….
I was amused by Dana invoking the Bible.
As I recall, Shields wrote a book while she was still at Princeton or just after she graduated, and she said that her morals came from her Catholic faith. I realize that her first marriage ended in divorce, but I thought that she still considers herself a Catholic. I wasn’t aware that the Catholic church has changed its teaching on premarital sex.
I really think she is crazy. She is also crusading against autoerotic asphyxiation? Really?
I remember back when Brooke was a student at Princeton. She used to brag on national television that she was still a virgin. Now she just sounds like a hippocrit.
Yawn, *sigh*. Oh well atleast no babies sucked down the sink.
And what would earlier sex have proved for Brooke? What health benefits exactly does early unmarried sex provide for anybody? It sounds to me like Ms. Shields is unhappy now and is looking to her past to figure out why. A suggestion: figure out what makes you unhappy now and deal with it productively and lovingly. Not easy- but at least it has a chance of working, unlike uselessly revisiting past decisions.
There is still too much of a double-standard and I admire Brooke for speaking out. Many thought and think that because she posed so provacatively back in the day, that she was surely sexually active, when, in fact, she was not. It just goes to show you how so often the OPPOSITE is what is really true. Many men still confuse sex with love and demand and expect it freely. They do not appreciate when a woman gives it to them, and many are okay with cheating, not being monogamous, etc…
Brooke seems to be setting the record straight that she may have put too much importance on saving it, when in the end, the world is so screwed up and so many basically abuse sex. She sounds more sane and together than most! She is not advocating for young girls to lose their virginity sooner, she is just saying that it is important to be in touch with your own body and to be comfortable in your own skin, which the majority are not, so that we can make the right decisions for ourselves and not be bullied into them or otherwise dicatated to. You Go Girl!
Brooke has signed on to any subject she can to get noticed….jumped on the infertility band wagon years ago and was compensated greatly for the …then on to Crest…now sunscreen…to bad she does not just stay at home and be a role model for her girls….
Jeez. did any of you actually READ the statement? She did NOT say she wished she’d lost her virginity earlier. She said she wished she had been more comfortable with looks and her body image earlier, and if she had, she might have lost her virginity earlier. That’s a very different statement than “I wishe I’d had sex earlier”
dan is right. people must simply understand what BROOKE said. it is her own personal thought about her body and as human we have some regrets. SHE SIMPLY COMMENTED on how she felt and i don’t think she regret not having sex early but how society expect her to be that she couldn’t make a fair desicion. It is confusing for a young woman not knowing what society-her body-her mind- tells her to do. PROUD OF HER! SHE was just sharing honest feeling. SHE IS NOT TELLING WOMEN JUST HAVE SEX. JUST wishing she did have the confidence of her body and might have had sex earlier—but that was the past and it did not happen so she did a great desicion—PRESENT she was just simply talking how she feels and not judege her. BEING A MODEL AND AN ACTRESS DOESN’T MAKE ONE FEEL GREAT ABOUT THEMSELVES sometimes.
Wish it were that simple. The fact is that people who are in the public eye reap all the benefits of that publicity- wealth, attention, status, etc., and cannot simply shrug off the fact that their comments will be attended to similarly- especially by impressionable young people.
Quite simply, sex for unmarried people is fraught with risk- physical and emotional- and to suggest however obliquely that jumping in the sack earlier would have equalled greater self- esteem is just irresponsible. I DID read the article, and Ms. Shields explicitly says she wishes she had gotten it over with sooner- referring to the loss of her virginity. Coming in the context of her mission to empower girls- this comes across as… advice!! Bad, bad advice.
I am sorry, I am still trying to grasp her low self esteem because of her body????? Don’t get it. A supermodel, gorgeous and she hated her body. I can not recall her ever having any issue with weight or anything. Maybe because she was tall? Someone help me out here. Anyway, it was a stupid comment to make. I agree with the remark that some things are better left unsaid. She simply could have said when I was younger I had a self image problem which caused my low self esteem, what does that have to do with losing your virginty?
I have always found this concept of “I want my first time to be with someone special” intresting. Who is ever going to be more special than the person you marry? I take a less selfish view of my body, and feel that I owed my virginity to my wife.
Brooke didn’t actually SAY she wished she had lost her virginity sooner. However, she could’ve worded it better, because it really does send the wrong message, even if she didn’t mean it that way.
I think waiting for marriage is the thing to do. It takes a strong person to remain abstinent, and anyone who does it I give them kudos. That’s what I’m doing and I know I’ll be thankful for it.
So a weak person has sex before marriage? Just curious. Are you remaining abstinent by choice or because no one is really interested?
If it takes a strength to overcome physical urges in order to remain celibate before marriage (for whatever reason), then it stands to reason that giving in to those urges despite the risks is evidence of somewhat less strength, n’est-ce pas?
Quit making excuses for self-indulgence, my friend, and give respect where it’s due.
I respect all those who decide to wait. I waited. I have no regrets. I was not married but I waited and I was far older than 21. What I don’t respect is the blanket judgement of those who choose not to wait. Not everyone shares the same views on sex. So please, give respect where it’s due to everyone.
I do give respect to those who choose not to wait. I’m not the one who made the gratuitous comment about someone waiting only because nobody was interested…