Q: We’re trying to get pregnant, and sex feels like work. How can we make it fun again?
A: When sex becomes more about peeing on sticks than pleasure, try these tricks.
Forget your cycle. That magic window of ovulation can also be a desire-stifling trap. Remember, your sex drive isn’t completely linked to your egg release, so don’t cut off the action when your fertility ebbs. Having sex when you want to all month long will take some of the pressure off.
Do everything but. Give each other a massage, and have intimate contact beyond the bedroom. Long, strong hugs daily will make a difference.
Embrace your imagination. Fantasizing about someone else isn’t a form of cheating. If it spices things up—and it usuallydoes—it’s perfectly OK.
Q: I think I should see a sex specialist, but I don’t know whom to contact. Any guidelines?
A: If you’re concerned about an issue in the bedroom, it’s always a good idea to seek outside help. Here’s a quick guide.
If it hurts. See your OB-GYN. If your problem has a non-gynecological cause, which is unlikely, he or she can refer you to a sex therapist.
If you’re never in the mood. See your OB-GYN. She can diagnose (or rule out) a hormone problem and treat it, and offer help if stress or lack of exercise are factors. She may also refer you to a sex therapist.
If you can’t reach orgasm. If it’s a recent development, see your gyno; a hormone imbalance may be the culprit. If it’s been a lifelong problem, ask your OB-GYN to refer you to a sex therapist; orgasm is a learned reflex response, and it is possible (though difficult) to learn later in life.
If he can’t do it. He should see his internist (because erectile problems can signal heart disease), as well as a urologist. Some medications or complications after surgery can lead to impotence; the urologist will be able to trace the cause.
Q: Our 7-year-old daughter walked in on us having sex. What should I say to her?
A: Though you can’t be sure how much she saw, you can assume she didn’t understand it. She may feel frightened, especially if you seemed to be playing rough or if you yelled at her. If you reacted angrily, apologize and explain that you were caught off guard.
Be straightforward, but avoid going into detail about what you were doing. (Save the birds-and-bees talk for when she starts to ask questions about sex.) Use terms she can relate to. You might tell her that you and Daddy were playing a loving game for grown-ups. Remind her that you and her father love each other and her. Most importantly, keep your tone reassuring; that ease her mind more than anything you say.
Jennifer Berman, MD, is director of the Berman Women’s Wellness Center and author of For Women Only.
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Comments (11)
I have 42 yrs old I marrid 5 yrs ago but still no have a chilldrens I have one problum when i stay with my wife 5 secons everything finished I consul with Dr.he gave some tablets but nothing please could u help me please can u send reply for e mail add.I am appreciated about ur web-thanks
I am 37years old.Last week doctor advise meto walk every day for 3 kilometeres.Body weight is 70 kg.PB 90/150. My question is if I walk after dinner(night food)is there any chance to suffer by hernio (latter I read in a weekly megazine) Due to my duty timing I have no any other option to walk.Canyou suggest e a suitable time to walk.
I am 40years old.Last week doctor advise meto walk every day for 3 kilometeres.Body weight is 82 kg.PB 90/150. My question is if I walk after dinner(night food)is there any chance to suffer by hernio (latter I read in a weekly megazine) Due to my duty timing I have no any other option to walk.Canyou suggest e a suitable time to walk.
how can i fight ealy ejaculation,and improve my sexual skills.
I M A STUDENT N MY PROBLEM IS THAT I WANT TO LOOSE WEIGHT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.M 5′ AND MY WEIGHT IS 55 AND MY AIM IS TO MAKE IT 45-48.I WENT TO GYM ALSO BUT IT IS NOT WORKING.I WANT TO DO YOGA BUT I DIDN’T A GOOD TEACHER…..PLEASE HELP.FROM BANGALORE
I’M 4′11 OVER WEIGHT ON MEDS FOR DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY MY WEIGHT THAT IM AT IS 186LBS I SHOULD BE AT 126LBS I EXERCISE REGULAR I WALK ETC IM 40 YEARS OLD NOW I DO THINK THAT SOMETHING HAPPENING WITH ME INSIDE MY BODY MY SEX LIFE IS UP IN THE AIR SOMETIMES ITS GREAT AND OTHER TIMES IT SUCKS HELP S.
Great tips! I would add, don’t forget to get a good mattress. All that trysting can be bad on the back.
Question:I m a 32yrs married woman who has been trying to get pregnant for the past 4 years with no luck and consulted my gyno so i would like to know what type of food can i try?
Anybody know if I wanted to bookmark this post do I have to join Google Bookmarks?
how can i fight ealy ejaculation,and improve my sexual skills.
When I get close to my wife to have sex, I get full errection but during sex within no min. ejaculation I am 40. how can I improve my sexual.