Q: I’ve heard that vaginal lubricants carry health risks. Should I worry if I use them?
A: Vaginal lubricants have been linked to fertility problems and vaginal infections, but this doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re at risk. If you’re trying to get pregnant, definitely steer clear because these products can render sperm immotile, which can decrease your chances of conception. Read More
Break a sweat. Exercise, which increases blood flow, is a proven libido- and arousal-booster.
Turn up the heat. Dig into a dish made with chiles—they contain capsaicin, a substance that stimulates nerve endings, triggers the release of endorphins, and ramps up heart rate.
Revisit your honeymoon photos. Just the sight of you two in love and relaxed may summon the urge to get intimate. Page through the album together, and see what happens.
Jennifer Berman, MD, is director of the Berman Women’s Wellness Center and author of For Women Only.
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Our sexpert, Linda De Villers, PhD. chimes in on how to handle size issues, oral sex, and how waxing affects your romance and health.
Q: My husband is rather well-endowed, which has become a bit uncomfortable as I’ve gotten older. What can we do?
A: Despite the cliché that “bigger is better,” a man’s generous proportions can sometimes pose a problem for women, especially around menopause, when a decrease in vaginal lubrication can become an issue. The solution? Insist on lots of foreplay—anything from kissing to watching sexy movies. Whatever guarantees excitement for you.
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Not getting any? You’re not alone: Women today have less time for sex than their 1950s counterparts. And it’s estimated that 40 million Americans have what experts call a sexless marriage (having sex less than 10 times a year).
A regular sex life is good for your health. It can satisfy all sorts of emotional- and physical-intimacy needs and help partners stay close, says Anita H. Clayton, MD, a professor of psychiatry at the University of Virginia and author of Satisfaction: Women, Sex, and the Quest for Intimacy. So why the dry spell? You can chalk it up to a sheer lack of time, but there are a slew of other reasons, too—from weight gain and perimenopause to technology overload (stop texting now) in the bedroom. Here’s how to beat the top 10 sex busters.
Reason 1: Your bed isn’t sexy anymore.
We hear it over and over again: The bed should be used for sex and sleep only. So why do so many of us insist on bringing third parties—laptops, PDAs, Law & Order—into the boudoir? All that technology and distraction can cause insomnia and put a damper on your sex life. After all, it’s harder to initiate sex if your spouse is hiding behind a newspaper or glued to the TV or if your hands are busy exploring the Web rather than his body.
Sex Rx: At a minimum, make the bedroom a no-technology zone, Clayton suggests. Then take a hard look at your life (from romance and work to entertainment and family), and give sex the priority it deserves. If you have to schedule sex like you do a meeting, do it!
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Q: Remember the pink rabbit that Charlotte got “addicted” to on Sex and the City? Are there really downsides to using a vibrator?
A: Just about anything exciting has its downsides, and vibrators are no exception. That said, I’m all for them. But think of a vibrator as just one item in your bag of goodies that adds spice to your routine. Otherwise, yes, there is a chance you’ll get so hooked on its particular charms that sex with your partner might start to seem ho-hum. There is a slight risk of injury to your clitoris from extreme overuse, but it’s very rare. To be safe and creative, try using your vibrator on your thighs, nipples, anywhere you like (and bring your partner in on the fun). If it’s a tad too intense, try a lower speed or slip a thin blanket between you and your toy. And don’t feel like you have to choose just one: While no woman needs as many vibrators as she does shoes, it’s nice to have a few for variety. Read More
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