Amy Ruiz

Last year, a 70-year-old Indian woman named Omkari Panwar made medical history as the oldest woman to give birth. She and her husband conceived via in vitro fertilization, and Omkari delivered boy-girl twins via C-section. The couple had two daughters and five grandchildren, but they had always wanted a son.

As radical as that story seems, the idea of having kids later in life is not. Medical advances—including in vitro fertilization, using donor eggs and/or sperm to conceive, and enlisting carriers—have all but erased the notion of a biological clock. In fact, between 1997 and 2007, the birth rate among American women ages 45 to 49 shot up 50%, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

The CDC doesn’t even have comparable data for moms over 50, because this trend is so new. Along with news reports of older moms from coast to coast (Frieda Birnbaum of New Jersey had twins at 60, and Janise Wulf of California had a baby at 62), there’s a growing number of support groups such as PregnancyAfter50.com, MotherhoodLater.com, and the Yahoo! group babiesafter50.

But there is a flip side to this phenomenon. In the June issue of Health, we reported on the health dangers of later-in-life pregnancy. Now, in part two of our series, we investigate the challenges these older moms face—from the stigma of being the oldest mom on the playground to unexpected, even life-threatening, health issues. Read on for three women’s honest stories.

Next: Joanie Shook, 47

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Hantavirus. Flesh-eating disease. Rabies.

Name an incredibly rare, swiftly fatal disease, and I’ve had it—at least in my head, between 1 and 4 a.m., when even the urgent care center that could possibly reassure me that I didn’t was closed.

I’ve never had Ebola, but that’s only because it’s hard to imagine you may be slightly hemorrhaging from your eyeballs. Either you are or you aren’t, which makes Ebola one of my favorite diseases. Instead, I have a particular fondness for fatal diseases that share almost every symptom with a bad day at work:

• Exhaustion
• Mental confusion
• Inability to tolerate bright lights

I suspect I’m not the only one. Here’s my quick quiz to see if you too are a cyberchondriac:

1. When you wake up with a crick in your neck, you google meningitis.
2. You’ve been on drug-resistant TB alert ever since that dumb guy got on the plane.
3. You knew when Sanjay Gupta visited that swine flu–infested Mexican hospital he’d come back with it. You had the sudden urge to scream—horror-movie-style—at the TV: Nooooo, Sanjay! Don’t. Go. Into. The. Stairwell!

Some (like, say, my husband, or that Oxford hotline nurse who took my hantavirus-scare call after my cat dropped a mouse on my face) would say I’m crazy. I think I’m a proactive patient. Is anyone with me?

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“Last night, I slept.” Those four words might not seem like a big deal to some people. But for women who have trouble sleeping—40 million Americans are thought to suffer from a sleep disorder, and women are twice as likely to struggle with insomnia as men—those words signify a minor miracle.

For the past eight years, my life between midnight and 8 a.m. has been an excruciating stream of intensely vivid nightmares and sheet-soaking night sweats. I’ve sought out neurologists, psychiatrists, and acupuncturists, and have undergone sleep studies, unloaded my deepest fears in therapy, and popped any sleep aid a doctor would give me.

Fed up with costly medications, nasty side effects, and no success, I was ready to give up on a good night’s sleep and simply accept the few choppy, interrupted hours I was getting per night—until I heard about biofeedback from a friend.

This mind-body therapy, introduced in the 1960s, helps you tune in to body signals (heart rate, blood pressure, muscle tension, skin tem­perature), and then teaches you to control the ones that may contribute to insomnia (or panic attacks, migraines, and other problems). You learn to work with your body, not against it, and studies show it can be effective. I thought it was worth a try.

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How it works
A child learning to wink by looking in the mirror is using biofeedback, says psychophysiologist L. John Mason, PhD, founder of Stress Education Center in Oak Harbor, Washington. After practicing, she sees the way it’s done and eventually can do it without the mirror.

Now imagine that, rather than a mirror, you’re looking at a computer monitor with two undulating lines; one tracks your current breathing pattern (via soft straps around your chest and tummy), while the other shows what breathing at a relaxation-inducing pace looks like. By consciously trying to match up the two lines—in short, by breathing deeper and slower—you’re applying basic biofeedback principles. The payoff: a way to quickly decelerate your heart rate and calm down.

Next: Practice makes perfect

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Looking for more ways to beat sleep? These natural techniques and devices can help you get a better night’s sleep.

GSR2
Rest two fingers on the Galvanic Skin Response monitor ($75), and the hand-held device tracks your stress level by giving off a rising or falling tone. You learn to manage your stress level by lowering the pitch.

Stressdots
Worn on the back of your hand, these little stickers ($12.95)act like mini–mood rings, changing color as your stress level and temperature rise. When the color changes, you know it’s time to practice your favorite relaxation technique.

Mindfulness Training
Learning to be mindful helps you acknowledge but not react to anxious thoughts that occur at bedtime. Women who spent eight weeks in a mindfulness-based stress-reduction (MBSR) course saw a 20% improvement in sleep disturbances, according to Duke Integrative Medicine researchers. The study subjects reported better sleep quality, less waking up at night, less use of sleeping pills, and less sleepiness during the day. Find an MBSR course here.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Up to 60% of people with chronic insomnia may get relief from just a handful of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) sessions, according to research presented at the annual meeting of the Associated Professional Sleep Societies. CBT includes an evaluation of your habits, attitudes, and knowledge about sleep and then helps you to change how you think about it. Many people who try it are able to stop using sleeping pills. To find a certified behavioral-sleep therapist, check with the American Academy of Sleep Medicine.

 
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Juliette Borda

Q: I feel like my bladder must be shrinking. I’m always looking for the nearest bathroom. What’s wrong with me?

A: You could have a urinary tract infection. UTIs are the result of bacteria entering through the urethra and multiplying in the bladder. Women are twice as likely as men to develop at least one UTI in their lifetimes. Our urethras are shorter, so bugs have to travel a shorter distance before they can wreak havoc. And, as we age, bladder tissues thin, making us more susceptible.

A frequent need to pee plus pain and cloudy or bloody urine are common symptoms. Antibiotics like Levaquin or Cipro are the first line of treatment. If a UTI isn’t causing your peeing problem, it may be a side effect of a medication you’re taking. If you’re on an antidepressant or diuretics for high blood pressure, or recently changed dosages, that may send you to the restroom more often, too. Your doc might change doses or prescribe a new medicine altogether to fix the problem.

Q: I take several ibuprofen tablets almost every day for various aches. Is this bad for me?

A: Probably. Ibuprofen is a nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drug (NSAID), similar to naproxen and aspirin. These medications can up your risk of intestinal bleeding—and that may happen with just a few pills per week. The bleeding can damage the lining of your digestive tract, causing ulcers to develop in your stomach, small intestine, or colon without your realizing it.

Some NSAIDs can also increase your risk of heart attack or stroke, and the longer you use them, the more your risk goes up. You should talk to your doctor to see if the NSAID you’re using is safe for you. Never take more than 800 milligrams of ibuprofen each day (typically four nonprescription pills) without medical supervision. And if you begin having black, bloody, or tarry bowel movements, tell your doc; it’s possible that the medicine has caused bleeding or ulcers in your bowels.

Q: My fingers and toes get chilled immediately in cold weather—and it’s really hard to warm them up. What’s the problem?

A: Those frigid fingers and toes could be symptoms of Raynaud’s Disease (RD). People with RD are very sensitive to cold. In fact, exposure to cold temps causes blood vessels in their extremities to spasm and contract, diminishing the blood supply going to the hands and feet (and sometimes the nose, ears, and lips). At first, sufferers’ hands may turn white, then blue, from a lack of oxygen. Later, the constricted blood vessels may open suddenly, and hands may turn red. A slight burning sensation is common.

RD affects women almost two times more than men—and women younger than 40, in particular. Doctors don’t know what causes it, but there is a medicine available that dilates blood vessels. And common-sense measures can help: Before going outside, wear multiple layers of gloves and insulated socks; if they get wet, put on clean, dry ones ASAP.

 
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Eva Mueller

Chances are you or a loved one will experience one of the following symptoms. Warning signs like shortness of breath or unexplained throat pain may seem minor but could be deadly. Call 911 for numbers 1 and 2; see a doc immediately for 3 and 4.

1. Fainting or shortness of breath These may signal a clot in your lungs known as a pulmonary embolism (PE), a condition that leads to about 60,000 deaths per year. Keep in mind: Weight gain may increase your PE risks.

2. Unexplained throat pain It could be a heart attack. Women often report jaw and throat discomfort, nausea, sweating, and unexplained fatigue before an attack, whereas classic symptoms like chest and arm pain are more common in men. Every year heart disease kills 16,000 American women younger than 55 and puts 40,000 in the hospital, according to the American Heart Association.

3. Unusual vaginal bleeding Beyond normal menstrual flow or the spotting that comes with new contraceptives, bleeding you notice in your underwear or clothing can signal ectopic pregnancy, cervical inflammation, or even uterine cancer, says William Fuller, MD, chairman of the department of obstetrics and gynecology at Presbyterian/St. Lukes Medical Center, Denver.

4. Persistent tummy trouble If you have diarrhea, cramping, or rectal bleeding, don’t wait weeks for it to vanish. Those symptoms could be signs of inflammatory bowel disease (Crohn’s or ulcerative colitis), which increases the risk of colon cancer. Even ovarian cancer can appear first as chronic gastrointestinal issues like pressure, bloating, indigestion, and constipation.

 
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Eva Mueller

If only your body were a little more honest, figuring out what’s wrong when you don’t feel right would be so much easier. But often a symptom—maybe it’s a sore back, cracked lips, tingling in your legs—has an odd or unexpected explanation.

Here, the surprising secrets behind five common complaints, and expert advice on how to get the relief you’re looking for. Plus, four symptoms you must never ignore.

Cracked lips?
It could mean: You have a yeast infection
Dry, cracked lips may be your body crying out for lip balm—or a sign of a yeast infection. “We all carry yeast on our skin,” says Shawn Allen, MD, a Boulder, Colorado, dermatologist, but cracks around the edges of your mouth may mean your body has too much.

What to do: Stop the growth
You lick your lips a lot when they’re chapped because that makes them feel better. But warm, moist saliva just encourages yeast growth when it pools in the corners of your mouth. The right remedy starts with the real source of the problem: dehydration. So, drink lots of water.

If your lips still crack, apply a moisturizing barrier like a beeswax balm or Vaseline. That should stop the pooling of saliva that encourages the yeast. Hydrocortisone cream or a topical antifungal medication may be helpful, too.

Next: Shoulder or torso pain?

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Facing an awkward conversation? Use these tips from Debra Fine, author of The Fine Art of Small Talk, and you’ll never scramble for the right words.

When you’re in the elevator:
No need to talk to a stranger. But if it’s someone you know or, worse, your boss, say, “Hi,” then “Have a great day” as you get off. You’re being polite but not pressuring her into a stop-and-chat.

When a friend is going through a tough time:
Whatever it is, she no doubt needs to be heard. So ask how she’s doing, and say “That sounds frustrating,” or “What happened next?” to let her know you are truly interested.

When you’re at a party with strangers:
Lead with what brought you both there. Ask “How do you know the host?” Common ground is a great ice-breaker.

 
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Q: Between my job and family, I’m so crazed it’s making me cranky. I lash out at my family all the time. How can I get some Me Time so I stop snapping at everyone?

A: You can start by treating the driveway as your transition space. When you pull up, sit there a minute and ask yourself: How do I want to show up for my family? Do you want to be patient, loving, and attentive, or reactive and angry?

Make the decision to behave in a way that makes you proud of yourself. Also, change out of your work clothes when you get home to consciously and physically separate your office self from your home self. If work stress starts seeping in, cut it off by reminding yourself that the place to tackle it is at your office, tomorrow. Here, a few tips for managing stress:

Control your anger.
When you feel anger coming on, it’s best to take a time out. Head to a different room or go outside, and remember your intention of being loving and calm. To excuse yourself without hurting others, tell them that “you deserve to have my full attention, but I can’t give it to you right now, so I just need a few minutes by myself.”

Work in Me Time.
Time alone is essential to your well-being. So put it on your to-do list (at the top!). Whether it’s 20 minutes in bed with a book, a soak in the tub, or a walk, taking this breather will make you feel more relaxed. And don’t be afraid to ask for help so you can steal that solo time. Once you reconnect with yourself, you’ll be a calmer mom, partner, and friend.

 
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