I wouldn’t mind looking like Gwyneth Paltrow. Who wouldn’t? So when she started promoting her weight-loss success using something called the Clean cleanse, I threw caution—and solid foods—to the wind.
I’d never done a cleansing diet, which basically requires you to consume mostly liquids for several days or even weeks. Frankly, I have a hard time sticking to any diet at all.
But I was feeling sluggish and bloated from too many happy hours and an abundance of Mexican meals and take-out falafels. Even my normally clear skin was sallow and scattered with pimples. Help!
That’s when I saw Paltrow’s rave, in her newsletter, Goop, about Alejandro Junger’s Clean program. I knew I had to give it a try. Who wouldn’t want to feel “pure, happy, and much lighter?” Sign me up!
So I pressured my up-for-anything roommate, Erin, into joining my quest for purity and light. Then I started reading up on Dr. Junger’s cleanse, which is actually pretty easy to follow (for a cleanse). The basic rules are:
1. Liquids only for breakfast and dinner—and allow 12 hours in between dinner and breakfast for optimal digestion.
2. Solids are allowed for lunch.
3. No soy, dairy, gluten, caffeine, or alcohol.
(Check out this comprehensive list of rules for the Junger Clean program.)
Seems simple, right? Well, the list of forbidden foods is daunting—my first gripe with the cleanse. I was technically allowed to enjoy a savory duck dish, but I’m a vegetarian—so that was out. Strictly following the cleanse meant I was not only a vegetarian, but I was also a gluten- and soy-free vegan to boot. Yikes.
Junger recommends you follow the cleanse for up to 21 days. I lasted a measly five.
The headaches were killer
I woke up my first morning feeling confident—and maybe a little cocky. This isn’t so hard, I thought, as Erin and I sipped blueberry-spinach-and-almond-butter smoothies. They were pretty tasty too. Things were still looking up at lunch, when I noshed on a spinach salad with lentils, roasted veggies, walnuts, and balsamic vinegar, which I’d prepared the night before. A caffeine headache hit at 4:30 and I was aching for a snack, but it was nothing I couldn’t handle.
That night Erin and I sipped freshly made juice—a tasty combo of carrots, kale, beets, and ginger—alongside a cup of pureed butternut squash soup. We were both in bed by 10:30—the earliest I’d hit my pillow in months. I felt healthy, content, and well on my way to Hollywood beauty.
The feeling didn’t last long. Midweek I felt run-down, hungry, and really, really crabby. I kept to myself at work to avoid snapping at innocent coworkers. I fielded pleading emails from Erin, who was asking for natural headache relief.
Junger recommends that you take a nap when a headache strikes. I found that a bit tricky to work into the office routine.
Fortunately, I had Erin for support. If I had had to endure a roommate eating solids for dinner, I probably would have shoved a hot dog down my vegetarian throat.
The problem with doing a cleanse with someone, though, is that it makes it tough to cheat.
I tried. I really did. I successfully consumed a liquid-only dinner when I went out with an old friend. I steered clear of my favorite coffee shop all week. Then I fell—for a measly half cup of lentils.
Next page: Dirty, lying cheater
Comments (4)
I don’t think this cleanse was intended for those to lose weight or for it to be a ‘fad’ diet. Cleansing is important for letting your organs rest, process less solid food, clean out your intestines and colon as well as remove toxins. Any cleanse will give you a headache and bring on those syptoms as they are classic symptoms of Candida and it is your body’s way of letting you know you are detoxing.
“Strictly following the cleanse meant I was not only a vegetarian, but I was also a gluten- and soy-free vegan to boot. Yikes.”
No wonder this diet didn’t work for you. You set yourself up for faliure from the beginning. Based off your “Yikes” comment its clear that you weren’t looking forward to eating vegan, soy-free and gluten free foods. The fact that you don’t enjoy eating those type of foods was probably a big reason you got headaches and felt bad. You were forcing yourself to do something that you didn’t truly believe in or want to do and your body was rejecting that. Instead of doing something that clearly you aren’t ready for, make small changes and slowly wean in healthier foods over time and eventually you’ll get the results you want.
Just finished reading the Goop article. To me it came across as an ad pretending to be an interview. Same trick I’ve seen in lots of other products. And they all have that one doctor who either came up with the gimmick or is hawking it.
If you want to know the best way to detox and/or diet try some common sense. Drinks lots and lots of water and natural fruit jucies. Water truly is good for you and keeps your kidneys and such flushed out. Eat alot of fresh fruits and veggies. Stay away from heavily processed and canned foods and limit meat intake. Give up fast food, reading the nutritional label on a big mac can help with this. Last but not least stay away from junk food and soda, always the hardest part for me.
There is no need to drink liquids for meals twice a day.
Yeah, I think you could definitely delete those last two comments… as for John, duh, does anyone really want to be a gluten-free, soy-free vegan? Who would look forward to that? I related to this article because I have been on a similar diet for health reasons. I also have had to give up sugar, which is the hardest of all for me, especially with my 3 kids carrying their bags of Halloween candy around the house… I really wish I had a partner in this.