Last weekend, Health magazine and Health.com held the second annual Here Comes the Sun festival in Central Park; it featured more than a dozen specialized yoga and Pilates classes. (Check back soon for video and more coverage of the event!) While Here Comes the Sun turned out to be a fabulous day of relaxation and refreshment, we know that yoga doesn’t always happen that way. This week’s Get Fit post comes from guest blogger and fellow Health.com staffer Jennifer Garam.
I live in urban New York, so I don’t drive, and therefore don’t experience road rage. I do, however, experience its distant cousin—yoga rage. As a yoga practitioner for the past 10½ years, perhaps I should embody a love for all humankind at this point. But still, nothing gets my yoga pants in a bunch like rude yogis and yoginis who don’t observe the rules of the road. So for rookies to seasoned class attendees, here’s a list of simple, common courtesies that every yoga practitioner should observe.
1. Give others their space
The other night in yoga class, I set up my mat near the far, windowed wall, and though the room was practically empty on that rainy evening, a woman came in and plunked her mat down right next to me—too close to allow me to spread my arms wide for the Swan Dive Into Standing Forward Bend at the beginning of Sun Salutations without hitting her. Annoyed, I moved my mat closer to the wall and then reclined resentfully as I waited for class to begin; the cold wind blowing through the windows gave me chills.
As we settled into our meditative seats and the teacher led us in a supposed-to-be soothing chant of the mantra “om namah shiviya” (there is not an exact translation for this but I have heard it described by a yoga teacher as “I bow to my highest self”), I seethed inside at this personal space invader and engaged in an angry internal dialogue with her, admonishing her for squishing me into a cold, windy corner when there were only about a million other available spaces in the room.
2. Stagger when space isn’t available
Last week, in a full classroom, I set up my mat next to a girl who grudgingly offered me a bit of space. Again, our mats were too close to do the Swan Dive without colliding, so I moved my mat up in order to stagger and have enough room to spread out my arms. She moved her mat up. Then I moved my mat back. She moved her mat back. This woman was clearly oblivious to mat-staggering etiquette!
Next page: Do not take what’s not yours
Comments (34)
Great article Jen - you made me laugh! I can certainly relate to the yoga rage. Space invaders are my pet peeve. I wish teachers would take the initiative to ask students to stagger their mats, especially when classes are crowded. Keep the honest yoga blogs coming!
Jen, well said! The times I have seen Jen, I have known her to have a very zen persona along with her sense of humor. I can see that even these things frustrate her which means a lot. Some people as beginners may not be aware, but that does not exclude them from being considerate of other’s space and property on an everyday basis. I think everyone can learn something from these annoying mishaps because she is right, we go to class to relieve our agitations and purify, not to become more toxic! Its hard to completely shut out these annoyances even when trying to let things go.
Namaste ;)
Good article. It is always humorous when humans try to experience the spiritual side of being human. Our earthiness (or someone else’s) just seems to want to get in our way which is, of course, the point of yoga–to bring these things together.
The yoga class I go to has gotten very crowded and it is mostly woman. For a guy, it can be difficult just finding a place to look without feeling like someone may misread what you are looking at. I have felt that just my presence as a male makes some of the woman uncomfortable which is understandable given the positions of some of the asanas put us in. So even beyond the aspect of physical space there is a sense of vulnerability, I think, that comes into play. I always try to be respectful and not impose myself into anyone’s space, but sometimes just a smile and hello can be taken as a come-on, I think. Believe it or not, I am there for the yoga. I am happily married to my soul mate for almost 30 years. My remedy for this was to take my practice home after I felt I had enough of the basics to manage. I went to the class for about 8 months. I am sure I could use some more instruction and may eventually seek it out, but I have a much greater sense of focus on what I want from yoga while I am practicing and I am not imposing on anyone else’s pursuit either. This compromise may not work for everyone, but it works for me.
Peace
I have had similar experiences. Thanks for bringing to light that even though you are there to relax does not mean you turn off as a human being.
Jen, I laughed at loud at your yoga rage article! It sounds like you are more advanced than me; so, I’m just hoping I’m not someone who causes any rage.
I seem to be in the beginning class with all the snorers.
I’m sorry that you are frustrated by practicioners, many of whom may have not had as much experience as you. Probably these folks have not practiced 10+ years — you could gently explain the preferred etiquette after class, rather than raging internally.
In some styles of yoga, men not wearing shirts is acceptable. Bikram is an obvious example. Also, in traditional mysore style ashtanga practice, where there is a lot of sweating from the vinyasas, shirts are distinctly optional for men.
Many yoga classes are crowded and dealing with the physical proximity of others is part of the challenge. Perhaps you would benefit from a home practice in addition to jam-packed classes.
I have totally been there, Jen! I swear these malcontents find us and proceed to torment us on some subconscious level. It’s very difficult for me to relax and turn off my internal dialogue, and the worst is when my internal dialogue is angry and ranting at the clueless talkers or loud nose breather next to me. Glad I’m not the only one!!
Jennifer -
I’ve been a yoga teacher for 8 years and have heard similar complaints from many new yogis. I would like to put forth the idea that this is your issue, not the other people in class. This presents a great opportunity for you to change your vision of the world around you. Yoga classes can be crowded and sweaty, sometimes people mistakenly use your props - forgive them. I’m sure there’s no malicious intent.
At the end of every yoga class we say “Namaste” meaning the divine light in me sees and honors the divine light in you and I recognize that we are the same.
When we practice yoga the ultimate end is to transcend the illusion that we are separate from other people and the world around us. They aren’t scary, annoying, sweaty “others,” but an interconnected part of ourselves. This is part of what yoga teachers mean when they talk about practicing your yoga off the mat.
Stay on the path sister.
Namaste,
Noele
Funny article, but a lot of your rage and internal tirades likely could have been avoided by some gentle communication. The lady who squished you into a chilly corner was indeed oblivious so there would’ve been no harm in politely asking/whispering for her to scootch over a bit. Beyond that the best thing you can do is concentrate on your ujjayi breath and be thankful to yourself and the universe that you are practicing at all. Not that I’ve never had yoga rage myself… I took a class back in college taught by a “new teacher” who clearly knew nothing about yoga and was putting the class into poses that not only didn’t flow but were even potentially dangerous! I faked an injury and left early.
From what you have said, it sounds to me like you perhaps fear confrontation and so don’t say anything. When this happens, the “offender” sees no problem and so continues without a thought and further aggravates you and others. The positive approach is to assume that the “offender” just isn’t aware so needs to be made aware kindly rather than just reacting to the “offence” against you and resultant aggravation.
With a smile and with a pleasant tone to your voice (first try to remove your aggravation) ask the person to kindly move just a bit so you BOTH will have enough room. When someone takes your blocks just smile and say that you will be using those and that she/he can get one one over there or whatever.
You might also tell the teacher about “sweat guy” and suggest that the studio have a Studio Etiquette posted at the entrance that lists wearing tops. This makes it very easy for the teacher to say something to “sweat guys”.
As I’m sure you know, real yoga practice is not just doing asanas, it is a way of life. Why not try looking at these situations as practice too?
I used to be a professional dancer. Most advanced dancers know class etiquette, but I had a similar experience in class some years ago. I had claimed my spot when a young man came in and stood way too close to me. I moved over so as to avoid kicking him. He moved over. I moved over again. He moved too close to me again. Then we both did it again. Class started and he kicked me so hard it brought tears to my eyes. When he tried to apologize I was so angry that I wouldn’t let him. In this case, either he had no sense of personal space or was too dumb to take the hint. There are people like that.
And don’t walk on my mat! Step over it please.
passive aggressive much? you never once mentioned actually addressing the issue with the person/s you were so bothered by. most people are not mind readers and should not be expected to innately understand the reasons for your frustration.
Yes, I have to agree, Ms. Garam — why would you put yourself through ninety minutes of hell when all you had to do was speak a few simple words for most of these issues? The persons you are mentally excoriating possibly do not know that they are doing anything untoward, and then yoga becomes a bitter drink of anger you sip throughout the class. As in the saying: Resentment is a poison you drink and expect the other person to die. Perhaps there is a gentle yoga in communication as well, instead of hoping that others work on the same exquisitely sensitive plane as you do.
I wish you well.
I love yoga and practice 5-6 days a week without fail. It is my true passion outside of work. I am appalled by this article and wonder if it is just a joke or if she is serious. If you are serious I wonder if you truly ‘practice’ or you just want people to know you practice.
1. If your in class and someone is too close, SAY SOMETHING! Be polite, but say something, not everyone is a mind reader with perfect etiquette like you. If you cant say anything it is entirely your fault, period.
2. Who cares what people wear in class if your really ‘practicing’? Have you ever thought about this from a male perspective. Classes are normally around 70% women with many of them being scantily dressed. Is this not distracting for any straight male? Besides if you are really into your ‘practice’, do you really have the need to look around to see what others are wearing. I find this to be grating at times with certain women yogis who treat each and every class like a fashion show. In ashtanga we work on a dhristi which means gaze, it is a set looking point in each asana to increase your concentration when used
3. Have some humility. You remember what it was like when you first started practicing? I’m sure there were things you were doing that people did not agree with it. If you can’t think of anything, try harder, because you have. You don’t own yoga, but rather we are all in the process of embodying what it means to be a yogi. The more I practice the more I realize we are all one body. Yoga has been practiced for 4000 years and your complaining about what people are wearing or if people or too close. You are nothing but a small grain of sand in the vast beach of yoga.
In short, say something or get over it, Yoga is too deep and too beautiful of a practice for you to get hung up on such superficial things in the grand scheme of it all.
“Do your practice and all is coming!” Sri. K Pattabhi Jois
Nothing but the comments of a pretentious yoga who does not embody what it means to be a yogi at all. To call yourself one is a joke.
Are you going to delete this comment too?
Although your commentary was humorous, and I have definitely experienced such moments of rage, rather than seethe in silence or even hope to change those around you by offering such etiquette advice (& hoping your classmates read this?), it seems like the far easier solution would be to simply talk to your classmates politely. A simple “I’m sorry, you may not have realized this but that block is mine from home and I am planning on using it,” or “Hey, it might be easier to do the poses if we stagger; do you want to stay where you are and I can move forward or backward to give us space?” etc. seems like a way to solve the problem immediately, so you’re not wasting yoga time being pissed, and you can help newbies learn proper etiquette without being mean.
Of course, it also requires you have enough faith in your classmates to give them the benefit of the doubt, rather than assume they are all selfish incompetent newcomers. Which seems like it’s just a bit out of your reach, at least if the condescension dripping from this article isn’t meant facetiously.
Yoga classes are getting more frustrating as yoga gets more mainstream, but this article does nothing to help.
People who know the rules owe it to the new folks to gently explain staggering. And they owe it to themselves and their practice to get over territorial block issues and who’s wearing what, and focus on their own practice.
Yoga’s about moving past dualities like right and wrong, and about seeing the responsibility you have to everyone else around you. The new folks, and the frustrations they bring, have the potential to help you bring your practice to a whole new level, in which it’s not just about asanas but about finding a very specific compassion.
Your article seems to be the complete opposite to what yoga is all about. A simple explanation to the person who had their mat too close to yours, or whoever took your block probably would have diffused your rage.
why couldnt you have said “hey i think that there may be some swan dive poses in this class–our arms may collide– you might want to move your mat a little bit?” or “excuse me, you seem to have taken my block–can i have it back? there are more in the back”
in you article, you say:
“I want people in class to obey common sense and unspoken rules, and to respect my boundaries with their mats and their person—and when they don’t, I get really pissed off.”
anger and narcissism issues anyone?
although you say you’ve been practicing yoga for over 10 years, seems like you’re only going through the motions–maybe it’s time you listened to other parts of yoga–the more spiritual side–
this may help you from being so angry because people are not doing what YOU want them to do.
good luck. namaste.
At first I thought this a gag that was running on a bit too long. Someone practicing yoga for ten years enraged by the imperfections of others? That’s a good one. But now I think you’re serious. My best advice: give up yoga. Obviously it isn’t working for you.
I agree with yogis here who imply you spend less time complaining. These basic spacial problems apply to any situation. Calling attention to as many readers as possible to your issue is not helpful to you or yoga practice in general.
The shirtless complaint however, was more informative, and funny,
Your obviously going to the wrong studios and you yourself are not using common yogic sense- there are no shirtless individuals in an Iyengar studio unless it’s the teacher demonstrating something about the muscles hidden under the shirt. Also standing or sitting and getting angry at other students for some real or imagined slight is equally foolish- why didn’t you say something to the offenders?? Are you not allowed to speak at your studio? Again I suggest a different studio- also why aren’t your teachers conscious of what’s going on in their class room? Unconscious teachers perhaps-?- and did you say anything to the teacher about your problems with other students?
I have been practicing yoga for over 11 years and teaching for about seven years. And while I make every effort to be considerate of other class members during practice, I do practice (not teach) with my shirt off all the time, and honestly, see it as my right as a paying member, as it is the most comfortable way for me to practice.
Yoga is popular in the West these days. Crowded (and expensive) classes are becoming the norm. If you are the sort of person who would freak out (”internally”) because a drop of sweat from another member lands on your mat, or their feet and hands get in your way, then maybe you would be better off practicing at home where these other, “lesser” types would not infringe on your practice. Rather than seething (internally), you and the offending “others” would be better served simply by communicating your needs in a respectful, non-condescending manner, or at least asking the instructor to mention things like staggering of mats when space is limited. In any case, judging from your list of pet-peeves, I doubt you would last more than one session in the noisy, crowded ashrams of India, where people are actually there for a spiritual practice as opposed to “working on their abs and showing off their name-brand yoga gear.”
Oh, good lord. All you had to do in any of these situations was to politely say, “Excuse me, do you think you could give me a little more room, please?” or “Excuse me, do you think we could stagger our mats since class is so crowded today?”
Instead, you hugged your resentments to yourself and allowed them to completely spoil your session. It sounds to me like you’d be much happier doing your yoga training at home with a DVD.
“admonishing her for squishing me into a cold, windy corner when there were only about a million other available spaces in the room”
If there were a million other spaces available, and you couldn’t bring yourself to politely ask the invader to give you more space since you were there first, why didn’t YOU move to one of these other million spaces? Why spend the class seething?
Take a deep breath and find a new class. :)
This article is fabulous!
I’d like to add to this shorty-shorts guy. This is the guy who comes in 5 minutes late, steps right over your head while you are unsuspectingly lying on your back with your poor innocent eyes open, and then proceeds to “juggle his fruit” so to speak in front of the entire class (since we all know shorty-shorts, especially loose ones, are not the best cover for such items). Eeew.
There’s also the pre-class exhibitionist. We all know she’s hot, some of us know we’re hot too, we don’t all contort ourselves into some of the more alluring yoga poses before class starts to “warm up.” These poses are not even warm up poses and the group-ex room is not a cabaret.
I’m sorry, but has the author heard of something called assertiveness?
Jen, I’ve been there and feel your pain! In addition to the spiritual component, yoga is also a lesson in stretching and strengthening the body, and participants should bring the same courtesy and etiquette to ashtanga class that they’d apply to kickboxing or Spinning. Although we strive to focus on our own breath and movements in yoga, we haven’t all reached that state of extreme enlightenment in which we are oblivious to the flailing limbs around us - I certainly haven’t!
Bottom line: don’t check your common sense at the door when you enter the studio. Turn your cell phone off, give your fellow practioners some space, and if you’re going to fall asleep during savasana, stay home and take a nap, instead.
you completely do not understand what yoga is about!
Yoga is about you and your mat. Nothing else should matter. Don’t look around, don’t pay attention to what others are wearing. Practice yoga for yourself. If you don’t like things that happen in the studio, practice alone, at home, at the beach or at the park. You NEED to find peace somewhere and thank GOD you don’t drive.
What a little spoiled princess! You have obviously not gained anything from your “years” of attempting to practice. You should switch to a spinning class my dear. Also, you may want to look into some cognitive therapy.
I agree with many of the comments that most of the author’s complaints could have been resolved by communicating clearly and courteously with the offender. But she also brings up several issues plaguing yoga these days — overcrowded classes and a lack of clear direction from the instructors. Crammed classes are stressful for those of us not yet completely enlightened and it would be great if studios were a little more concerned about the experience of their students than the bottom line. Also, I really appreciate instructors who start the class by asking folks to move their mats so that everyone has room to do the class that they have planned.
Shirtless is the only way for a guy to practice. It is SO much more comfortable… and I’m very conscious of where my sweat is going… it’s nowhere near you.
It sounds like you’ve been in some very overcrowded classes with rude people. Change studios.