Not getting any? You’re not alone: Women today have less time for sex than their 1950s counterparts. And it’s estimated that 40 million Americans have what experts call a sexless marriage (having sex less than 10 times a year).
A regular sex life is good for your health. It can satisfy all sorts of emotional- and physical-intimacy needs and help partners stay close, says Anita H. Clayton, MD, a professor of psychiatry at the University of Virginia and author of Satisfaction: Women, Sex, and the Quest for Intimacy. So why the dry spell? You can chalk it up to a sheer lack of time, but there are a slew of other reasons, too—from weight gain and perimenopause to technology overload (stop texting now) in the bedroom. Here’s how to beat the top 10 sex busters.
Next: Reason 1: Your bed isn’t sexy anymore
Comments (40)
There are so many reason why people nowadays fail to have a good sex… And what you have listed here are the most common reason and i really agree with it…
What if you find your man unattractive and don’t like HIS body?! My boyfriend is overweighted and I don’t find his body very attractive. But I cannot demand him to be more like Brad Pitt, because my body isn’t all that great either (although he finds it very attractive)
Talk to your boyfriend about how you really feel and tell him that he needs to work out more and eat healthier.If that doesnt work out you should break up with him.Do it gently and tell him that you just want to be friends and dont feel sad.
I agree with Tess. if it ain’t happening, it ain’t happening. you must be attracted to your mate. anything else should just be a friendship, or less; acknowledge the fact that you may lose him altogether or it may hurt him too much to forge a friendship. Good luck. In the future, don’t let it drag out. Don’t pick men solely on their attractiveness, but don’t go too far with someone you don’t find attractive!! The right one is out there for you. my man looks good to me; while he isn’t Brad Pitt either, we fit in all the right places, and I know we will continue to turn each other on for many more years. The other people are right too; there are other ways to be attracted to someone, and knowing your own desires and capabilities goes a long way in fulfilling them.
Good sex starts in the mind – if you are not very attracted to your mate physically, try to concentrate on the things that do attract you to him like maybe his personality. You may want to try using some sex toys, and or porn movies to spice things up between you and him. A good site to check out is http://www.loversplayland.com they have a wide variety of toys, movies and will answer any questions you have if you use the contact us link. A word of advice if you have not experimented with toys start out slow then add more you will see a big difference in your sex life that is for sure.
As Lisa’s comment suggests, toys can be fun, but a lot of the obstacles to a good sex life are mental and emotional. And some are physical. If you’re a woman who wants to enhance your sensual awareness and increase your satisfaction with sex, I suggest you try the E-Sensual Woman program at Sensovi Institute (www.Sensovi.com) — It’s online so anyone can do it. It helped me get out of a rut with my husband and now we’re having the best sex of our lives — meaning quality over quantity. Hope that helps!
i used to be very sexually active. now in my very late 40s things are quite different. am nursing hypertension and the weakness am experiencing is said to be due to the drugs i use. at times at the end of intercourse, i feel like the life is getting out of me but at some other times i managed through. what can i do to retain a healthy sexy life with my wife?
Hmm… is no sex in 7-8 years unusual?
This is a good list but it misses the bigger issue: People are not taught the skills to keep relationship alive.
Our puritanical past limits the discussion, interest and attitude to put maintaining a good sexual relationship as a high priority. As a result, things degenerate.
Neglect, disdain and other behavior kills the relationship. If there is no relationship, there is no sex.
Surprisingly there is no mention of using massage or polarity therapy as a means for reducing stress. Experience has shown when people get regular sessions, all aspects of the lives work better. This is particularly true of polarity. To find out more about polarity check out http://polarity-therapy.com
You forgot the biggest one of all…. PORN. Instead of being rejected yet again by your wife/girlfriend you can always count on porn. Porn is hostility free, guilt free and, well, free!
Let the less interested partner choose the time and never pressure them, but do remind them that you find them attractive.
Works wonders…
If my wife ever even considered using a vibrator, I’d divorce her. Guys… if you need a vibrator to satisfy your wife or fullfill some sexual fantasy – your insulting yourself and your wife.
Here’s my advice from 21 years of active, healthy and amazing sex with my wife:
Never ever use toys. Fun to watch in porno’s but the fact is these toys desensitize parts of your body you want to keep sensitive. Instead of replacing your partner, teach them what movements and actions your looking for. Don’t be afraid or shy to share what you want, and don’t be demanding if they can’t get it just right. Respect! Remember respect!
Turn off the porn. I know you web surfers can’t do without it but if your having trouble with the wife and your watching porn the problem is right in front of you. The hunk/hottie that lives with you is all you need and if they’re not – go sit on some hill and meditate or something cause at one time you did commit to “till death do us part”.
Go rated PG! How much time do you spend making out with your wife/husband. I mean those little snuggle sessions curled up on the sofa? Shame on you! How long do you think your marrage is going to last without affection? Now here’s the key to rated PG sessions: Keep it light touching and kissing, talk to them, listen to them, then break away WITHOUT sex. Yep, use these times to build affection and show each other how much you appreciate each other and think each other are the hottest things in each others lives. For guys: if you have sex she mentally things you were just being romantic for the sex. Girls: Don’t give it up so easy, make romance & attention the key to sex. Women are in love with the idea of being in love, right?
Have fun folks!
I agree with a lot of what you said about affection being important.
HOWEVER- MANY women can’t orgasm from intercourse alone and NEED the help of a vibrator. It is estimated by many studies that only about 40% of women can reach orgasm from intercourse. Of course, men can stimulate other areas of a woman’s body as well which might help them achieve climax. That said, a great deal of sex therapists strongly recommend using vibrators for some women who have trouble (clearly your wife is not one of these women).
I just wanted to say that while using toys should not be a substitute for romance or intimacy, it is insulting to say that it is inappropriate in every case. Many women feel that needing to use vibrators is something to feel guilty about, so they end up faking pleasure because they are afraid that the man will leave them if they don’t. This, to me, is sad. Just because your wife doesn’t need toys doesn’t mean it’s right to pass judgment without even considering other people’s circumstances.
So if you deny your wife even the choice of whether or not she would ever want to try out a vibrator to see if she likes it or would want one, does this mean you don’t “tend to things” yourself ever?
It’s not fair if you can do it, and pretty much every man does, and you deny her the choice.
Are You Morman? Need another wife?????????GREAT Advice, something we women have known for years. At least, the one’s that truly experienced romantic loving sex with HER partner.
AMEN!
What about the fact a woman’s husband just doesn’t turn her on because he doesn’t help with the kids or bills. That to me is a real turn off. So many men are more child like than one’s own kids!
So what if you have a husband that really only looks at the negatives and really doesnt compliment you? I know that when this happens i want to cry and just not do anything, and yet he still trys to push it. I dont know what to do. I dont feel good about myself, I mean Im not fat, but sometimes he just says things that arent very flattering. Help!
Dinges, More likely your man is just saying he likes your overweight body so as not to hurt your feelings.
you may want to do the same.
rob: What was the point of posting this twice under two different aliases? Did you screw up on the ad you were trying to link? I think it’s a fairly safe bet that Dinges is right that her man wants her.
11. You like to avoid diseases
12. And paying child support.
(from Digg page)
or
Reason 11: You spend too much time on digg.
Diggers live in a virtual reality. Popularity is not based on how many people they have in their iPhone or Blackberry, but rather, who can get the most diggs on their digg submissions, and who can get their submission to the coveted front page of digg.
To accomplish such a feat would require constant shouting to their “mutual friends” and constant reminders to “digg, shout, favorite and share please!” Many times, one sends a guilt trip shout that reminds their friends that they “just dugg your story, so digg mine.” Desperation starts to sink in as they realize the time for getting their story to the front page has failed upon their efforts.
They spend a majority of the time looking for stories to submit first and beat the regular submitters. New stories pop up at the oddest times, from midnight to 4 in the morning, and these diggers are there waiting for that story.
Sex Rx: If diggers would use digg as it was meant to (read stories from around the world and move on) digg what they like, shared what they like without expecting diggs in return, they might get laid.
I think the best article.
regard
http://aerobic-cellular-respiration.blogspot.com/
10 reasons for male masturbation
http://healthy-guy-publichealthreport.blogspot.com/2008/10/reasons-for-male-masturbation.html
MY BOYFRIEND AND I HAVE BEEN DATING FOR A YEAR AND A HALF AND THE SEX LIFE IS NOT THERE ANYMORE…I DONT NO WHATS GOING ON. I ASK HIM IS HE CHEATING ON ME HE JUST SAY NO AND KEEP DOING WHAT HE IS DOING I KIND OF THINK HE IS TELLING THE TRUTH BUT I COULD BE WRONG. IT LIKE THIS WE COULD BE LAYING IN THE BED AND I WOULD WANT SOME SO I WOULD TRY MY BEST TO TURN HIM ON AND IT DONT WORK, AND IAM A VERY PRETTY GIRL AND I NO IF I REALLY WANT SOME I COULD CHEAT BUT I DONT WANT TO, BUT I DO NEED SOME HELP PLEASE SEND ME SOME INFO ABOUT WHAT I SHOULD DO!!!!!!!
Its hard to have a good sex life, when every woman on the frigging planet either hates you out right, or lives in fear of your very existence!
Ive been with my husband for 9yrs & our sex life was hot for the first month the it got cold all he wants is oral sex if i want some it is a fight he says that is all i want i feel like im ugly
My man only wants me to give him oral sex but we had an amazing sex life
I enjoy oral sex with my love one whenever he is displeased with me, it’s my own way of saying sorry for my falt.
no comments
I’ve read all of the articles where it tells you the benefits of having sex and having it regularly, but do you still reap the same benefits if you masturbate as opposed to having sex with a partner?
Having sex regular is very good.
Good days , I wish.
My wife mainly wants to have sex when she is ovulating. We may have sex every night for a week and then no more untill the next cycle. And somtimes she says that she is dry. I offer to take it easy and use a lubercant.If she desired me and wanted to meet my needs she would put forth an effort. My wife has an orgasam every time we have sex. Somtimes 2-3 times. I am very giving an i always make sure that she is taken care of,but i am tired of 1-2 times a month. When we dated, it was 4-5 times a week. I tell her that i masturbate somtimes because i am horney and she turns me down. I have never ever turned her down. no matter how tired or how bad of a headache i never turn her down. I love my wife, but i find my eyes looking at other women more and more and i know its because my needs are not being meet,What should i do?
When we’re young, five main things are happening – 1) we’re healthy, strong, and attractive, 2) our chemistry is hot, 3) sex is mysterious, 4) sex is taboo, and 5) we feel love and sexual desire together. These are the main ingredients for HOT sex. As a teenage boy in the 1950s, I was ON FIRE 24-7, but American society, parents, and teachers banned sex. I wanted girls so much, it was EXASPERATING! I made up for lost time in college and my 20’s and 30’s, but as life went on and became complicated, demanding, and stressful, and my chemistry cooled off, I felt less and less sexy and wanted less and less sex. Also, the damned drugs that “doctors” (often ignorant, “try this” fools) gave me destroyed all sexual desire and ability, and created other horrible effects. Had to get off those poisons from hell. I was married briefly, but got divorced because of what appeared to be long-term incompatibility. In my 40’s and 50’s, I had occasional sex, but only with young women. Like most men, older women didn’t turn me on. Now in my 60’s, I rarely have sex. Many, many reasons – different chemistry, been-everywhere-done-everything-a-thousand-times, tired of it all, harder to date young American women (though young foreign women like and want older American men), life became increasingly complicated and expensive, less spending money, no desire to fight traffic, crowds, and morons, etc. I get more satisfaction from being in nature, doing my hobbies, being with friends, talking about politics, philosophy, art, music, and writing, working for world health and peace, and donating to medical and genetic research.
My wife and I aren’t down with the porn so much, but we do recognize the effort required to keep things fresh and new. We do new sheets, lingerie, and make it a point to regularly date, kiss and touch each other like we did in the beginning. It makes a huge difference in our sex life.
http://www.goodsexeverytime.com/index.php?p=2_48
Dinges, More likely your man is just saying he likes your overweight body so as not to hurt your feelings.
Regards,
John
Health Remedies
Hey rob/john/whoever you are: What’s the point of this? It reads like it was written by a bright twelve year old, but explaining (truthfully!) that most weight loss products are scams on a page with ads for more than a dozen of these scams is rather silly.
(… and if her man is lying about being attracted to her so that he can have sex with her, I hereby posit that he IS attracted to her – otherwise there would be no reason for him to want to have sex!)
i want some better solution about sex, how to increase sex power
We are not having these problems per say. He works out of town and is extremely faithful, but when he comes home every two weeks, we don’t always have sex. I am always willing and more than able. If I complain he says hes getting to old to want it all the time. I know when we do it is so fabulous but he does get a little worked up. He has no medical problems. He is only 4 years older than I, he just turned 51. I feel as though he doesn’t want to because of stress of his job and our family life is odd. His son is home every time he is here and my son is as well. I really would like to have some real help here. Thanks.
way to go complicating the most beutiful thing in life.. relax and just have it for godsake. We should be thankful that we as humans can enjoy sex like this.